上海中考优秀英语作文

第1篇：上海中考优秀英语作文

英语中考话题作文教学效果的分析与思考

摘 要：英语话题作文写作是初中学生必须掌握并能灵活运用的能力之一。然而，由于话题作文难以下手，学生在写作时往往思维混乱，前言不搭后语，导致难以达到理想的写作目标。鉴于此，本文着重探讨教师如何引导学生去解读话题作文，把握话题作文的写作框架和写作思路，从而提高话题作文的教学效果。

关键词：初中英语;话题作文;教学效果;分析与思考

英语写作是初中学生必须掌握的语言技能之一，是初中英语教学强调的一个核心技能，是听、说、读语言技能的重要组成部分，而话题作文又是中考作文中常考的一种题材。在实际教学中，学生的话题写作状况并不乐观，许多学生由于词汇贫乏和语法障碍，因而只能写出“中式英语”的文章，得分很低，从而使学生对写作产生了恐惧心理。面对这种现象，教师必须给予足够的重视。笔者认为，在短期内迅速提升初三学生英语话题作文的写作水平是完全可行的，但必须做到以下几点。

一、多样化话题导入要挖掘学生内驱力

话题的选择直接关系到学生的喜好程度。其中，新颖多样的话题更能吸引学生的目光，更能集中学生的注意力。由此可见，教师在选择话题时，需要考虑到初中学生的身心发展，选择能抓住学生眼球的典型话题，促进学生主动去阅读话题、揣摩话题和领悟话题，从而挖掘学生的学习潜能，激发学生的学习兴趣，调动学生的学习积极性和主动性，充分发挥学生的主体作用，更便于满足学生所表现出来的浓厚的学习欲望。比如：在话题“Teenage problems”中，有“Different problems”和“What should I do”两个子话题，为了让学生主动开口“Talk about problems and their causes”。我首先用中文对学生说：“我最近遇到了一些问题，你们根据我的描述猜猜看我有哪些烦恼”？学生一听兴奋地两眼发光，纷纷催促快点开始。于是我继续说：“I have had a lot of food lately”，学生立马说：“Worry about getting fat”。“It takes a long night to get to sleep”我继续说道。学生抢先答：“Sleepless”。然后我对学生说：“为了公平起见，你们也应该告诉老师你们的烦恼的原因吧”！话音刚落，就有学生回答：“I dont have enough time to do homework”。在他的带动下，其他学生也开始用英语表达困恼自己的问题。通过本节课的教学，学生参与话题作文的讨论积极性得到了很大的提高，学生全部参与在研讨之中，学会并掌握了本节课的英语知识，而且提高了他们听说能力。

二、写作技巧要以提升学生的写作水平为主

在英语话题写作指导过程中，教师不仅需要给学生灌输写作理论知识，而且还要懂得适时地传授一些写作技巧。这样可以将不同时空、不同角度的材料组合成为绚丽多彩的文章大厦。同时学生可以将所获得的话题写作技巧迁移到其他题材的作文中去，培养他们的写作灵感以及举一反三的能力。换言之，丰富多彩、灵活多变的写作技巧更能培养学生的创新思维，激励他们进行自主创作，从而可以提高学生的写作水平。比如：在话题“Know yourself”中，我给学生设计了一系列问题：1.What is you personality？ 2.What is you appearance？ 3.What sport do you like？ 4.What food do you like？ 5.What is you dreams？ 6.What food do you like？然后讓学生围绕这几个问题设计英语对话，在对话过程中，学生可以加入自己的创意，这给学生提供了很大的创作空间，他们准备对话的热情很高。其中有的学生把对话情境设置在餐厅中，根据双方对菜肴的喜好去展开对话;还有的学生则把对话情境设置在旅游途中，表演得很是生动。在完成对话之后，学生很清楚地知道如何去创设情境以及书写这一话题。在本节课的教学中，学生在表演对话中，身临其境，情不自禁地根据当时情景，进行交流研讨，不仅熟练地掌握了句型和语法，而且还增强了写作信心，从而提高了写作水平。

三、现场写作运用促进科学合理评价的建构

教师科学、合理的评价是激发学生学习内驱力的重要“催化剂”。对于初中学生而言，由于他们正在逐步形成强烈的成人意识，希望得到成人的赞赏和认可，尤其希望得到教师的客观评价。因此，初中英语教师在进行话题写作教学时，应该重视学生的这一心理，以便在课堂写作评价中让学生意识到自身的不足，并乐于去弥补这种不足，从而让学生的写作水平得到良好的发展。比如：话题“Films”中的子话题“Using so... that and such... that...”，我在课堂上仔细讲解了这一语法知识，并且还区分了这两种句型的区别，同时例举了大量的句子来让学生体验两种句型，在讲完语法理论知识之后，为了让学生在写作时可以熟练运用该句型，我给学生当堂布置了写作任务“介绍三种水果”，并要求运用上述句型，十五分钟完成并上交，然后我迅速浏览了一下，挑选出学生所犯的相似的句法和语法错误，并对文章结构进行一一点评，让学生及时了解自己的写作缺点。本节课的学习，不仅培养了学生灵活运用所学知识的能力，而且通过这样的评价还能快速地帮助学生解决话题作文写作中存在的问题，建立正确的概念，从而形成科学的学习评价观。

总之，教师在教学时，首先要采用有效的教学方法帮助学生克服畏难心理，使学生对话题产生兴趣和爱好;然后让学生熟悉并掌握话题作文的写作逻辑;最后鼓励学生积极练习话题写作，并不断地总结相应的话题写作经验和心得，从而让学生的话题写作水平得到质的提升，为其在英语中考中获得理想的英语成绩奠定良好的基础。

[参考文献]

[1]李莹霞.初中英语单元话题作文的有效教学策略探析[J].英语广场，2018（06）.

[2]叶译.初中英语单元话题作文的有效教学策略研究[J].中小学教材教学，2015（06）.

[3]李湛荣，张琳琳.“生本三位一体”英语话题作文有效教学模式的建构[J].课程·教材·教法，2014，34（07）.

[4]郭胡汝芳.输出假设理论下初中英语课堂写作训练案例分析[D].闽南师范大学，2016.

（作者单位：苏州市相城区北桥中学，江苏 苏州215000）

作者：严红英

第2篇：上海市中考满分作文-2003上海中考优秀作文

2003上海中考优秀作文--“我想唱首歌”

生命之歌

我想唱首歌，这是一首生命之歌。

2003年7月7日，4时30分。我从信箱里匆匆取出《新民晚报》，如同往日一样，虽然临近考试，可看报仍是我多年的习惯。视线划过一版、二版、……十五版。猛然，眼前一亮：

伊朗连体姐妹欲做分头手术!伴着一声惊叫，这对姐妹花的照片映入我的眼帘，除了一部分头骨连在一起外，她俩和普通人并无任何区别，只是两双略带忧郁的明亮大眼睛充满了对未来的憧憬。得知了她们已有29岁了，我又是一惊：她们哪来这么大的勇气?这手术可是九死一生啊!我真的替她们担心。面对死亡的威胁，姐妹俩都愿意把生的希望留给对方，这又是多么美丽的心灵!

7月8日。取到报纸，我打破常规，直接翻到了十五版。据我推断，这则新闻应有连续报道。果然不出所料，整个版面几乎都刊登了这则消息。然而，醒目的大字标题让我新一凉：手术遇到麻烦!我感到似乎周围的空气凝固了，只听见自己的心跳声。原来她们的头骨比预计的要厚，所以手术耗时要多一些，医生在切割时只能一毫米一毫米地进行。我简直比她们还要害怕，我能做的是，只有为她们祈祷，再祈祷。

7月9日。一到时间我就急急地奔下了楼，快速取出报纸，我迫不及待地翻到了十五版。“啊，怎么会这样!”我失声大喊，几乎不相信自己的眼睛。可是报纸上却清清楚楚，写着这对姐妹花死亡的消息。顿时，鼻子一酸，我的脸颊上挂满晶莹的泪珠，姐妹俩的照片被放大后刊登在报纸上，然而她们那微笑却已成为一种永恒……连头姐妹在近三十年中克服种种困难，顽强生活的情景，飞速在我眼前闪过。如今，为了更灿烂的明天，她们付出了何等巨大的代价!

我真的想为这对姐妹花唱首歌，一支含着泪水唱出的美丽哀婉的歌，在为她们活出如此绚丽的生命乐章而骄傲的同时，祝福她们在去天国的路上走好。也许，这也是全世界知道这对姐妹的人心底里最想唱的歌，这是一首以死为代价的追求生命的歌……

(卢湾区A类卷) 【点评】在众多千篇一律的题材中，本文让人眼睛一亮，不是因为小作者的语言如何出彩，而是因为他以一颗善良易感的心发现了普通人丰富的内心：连体姐妹互爱的真情、她们渴望生命完整的勇气、她们短暂却闪亮的人生、她们义无反顾的追求……所有的这些难道不值得我们为之歌唱吗?

祖国之歌

生活里充满了美吗?是的，它就在你双眸闪动的春光里，就在你手中擎起的秋叶里……歌是对美的感悟，是一种宣泄。

咏叹调———东方之珠清晨，蓝色的云霞里矗起一道细小的抛物线，这线红得透亮，闪着金光，冲破云霞，这就是初升的旭日。耀眼的光辉顿时洒向东方明珠，使剔透的球体再次复苏，重现它们的本色，犹如水晶般散发异彩、夺人视线，将阳光反射向四周……东方明珠的确具有别具一格的“磁性”与独特的魅力。她让人心动，让人为之感叹!渐渐地，红与白完美融为一体的巨型建筑物便占据了我的双眼。在她与我之间，浦江上仿佛铺出了一条碎光闪烁的路，让人忍不住飞奔而去，以平静激烈跳动的心脏。

我想唱：啊，这颗耀眼的明珠是中国的一个亮点，它将永远矗立于世界东方，咏叹美好的生活。

小夜曲———卢浦大桥飞虹横跨浦江，明月在水上泼洒出点点闪烁的银光，浦江之上又画出了一道神奇的风景线。抬头仰望，在灯光的映衬下，How magnificent(雄伟极了)!如童话般的“彩虹”展现在世人眼前，流光溢彩。曲线比直线更富有变幻的魅力，引导着视线作无穷的追逐。卢浦如同一座优美的雕塑：圆拱形的彩色大理石碑身，飞架碑身的三道银色钢结构弧线，隽永的金色魏碑体碑文，静静地诉说着这个国度里发生的又一个奇迹。

我想唱：啊，卢浦是中国独特的一条曲线，她体现的，即“美是生活”。

进行曲———三峡工程溯流而上，漫步在长江上游。走近大坝，见到的是两侧动与静的对比。坝身上游水波不兴，一平如镜;下游一侧导流底孔喷出的汹涌波涛，如无数条奔腾舞动的巨龙，在空中溅起数米高银白色的飞珠碎玉，撞击着，直泻而下。问苍茫大地，哪一处江河曾经积淀了如此厚重的文化?哪一方水域曾经荟萃了如此众多的灵秀?承载着这沉甸甸文化与灵气的江水，汇聚到三峡大坝时，怎能不迸发出强大的能量?由此，我们触摸到了祖先的分量，历史的分量，江山的分量。

我想唱：啊，三峡之水蕴藏着怎样的美丽，它将行进到底，因为那是我们永远的精神家园。

祖国诉说不尽的美，勾勒出涌动在我心中的一首歌，让我情不自禁的想将它唱出。我要用歌声赞美它们：明珠的夺目，三峡的雄伟，卢浦的独特，这是人们用双手创造的美，这是祖国改革开放飞速发展的写照!总有一天，中国必将成为全世界瞩目的焦点，屹立于世界民族之林。

祖国，我为你歌唱。(卢湾区A类卷) 【点评】用充满诗情画意的文章，去应和饱含抒情意味之题，这是一篇歌咏伟大祖国建设之壮美的考试作文。都说作文应该是“我以我手写我心”，作者选材独特，视野开阔，立意高远，加之自出机杼的构思和流畅的文笔，更使文章增挥。以一个初中生能如此为文，实属不易。

青春之歌

十六岁的花季，多么美好啊!我想唱首歌，青春是美丽的!

青春是美丽的风景线，有的人匆匆溜过，一无所获，到老了总是后悔莫及!有的人却欣赏到了那只属于他的精彩，令人神往，到老了总是回味无穷!这是两种截然不同的人，是否也给我们带来一丝感慨?

我想唱首歌，青春是美丽的!因为青春充满活力!我们总是孜孜不倦地遨游在知识的海洋中，不会累，因为我们是富有生命力的小草，坚韧不拔!瞧，志愿者服务队中，总有我们的身影，为孤老服务，当小交通员……我们忙得不亦乐乎，虽然有珍珠般的汗淌了下来，但那是珍珠啊，多么珍贵!我们要把我们的活力注入整个社会中!

我想唱首歌，青春是美丽的!因为青春充满智慧!遇到了难题，我们总会迎刃而解，所谓“自古英雄出少年”，我们当然要好好表现一番!在各项竞技场中，我们“初生牛犊不怕虎”!勇摘桂冠，那全是靠我们的智慧和奋斗!在科技发明方面，我们也当仁不让，我们细心地联系生活，结合实际，大胆地创造出了一个又一个令成人叹为观止的发明!谁说我们是小孩，我们人小志气大!我们要把智慧播散到社会的各个角落中去!

我想唱首歌，青春是美丽的!因为青春并不会太长!昙花一现是短暂的，可谁能说它不美呢?正是因为它的短暂，带给人无限留恋!可是昙花一现可有无数次，每个人的青春只有一次，何不牢牢把握它呢?

让我们一起高声歌唱：青春是美丽的!

(虹口区A类卷)

【点评】“我想唱首歌”是2003年7月11万余中考学生所面对的大作文题目。不知考生在作文审题时有没有想一想：何为“歌”?何时最“想”“唱歌”?

“歌”者，自古已有。《礼记》(卷三十九)云：“歌之为言也，长言之也，说之故言之。言之不足，故长言之。”这句话中明确说明，“歌”，就是“长言”;“长言”，乃是畅言的意思。“畅言”，相对一般言语来说，表达无阻碍，吐露更痛快，情感更奔放。由此可见，“我想唱首歌”，重在吐露真情，重在畅言实感。情到真处方感人，情到深处才“想唱首歌”。

在阅卷过程中，我们发现了不少符合题意的好作文。

文D的考生面对题目，脑海中现出小学同桌的身影，记忆中泛起点点滴滴的小事，作者以“我手写我心”，抒发出真真切切的情感。情到深处，深感“言之不足”，故而“真想把《同桌的你》这首歌唱给你听”，与同桌的你，与读者的你，共同来“回味那难忘的时光”。

文C的考生面对题目，想到青春是美丽的，因此而“长言之”。文中以一唱三叹、回环复沓的歌咏形式，歌颂青春年华的活力与智慧，抒发花季少年的情怀与感慨。到文末，由“我想唱”到呼唤同龄人“一起歌唱：青春是美丽的”。全文豪情满怀，积极向上，富有感染力。

诚然，十六岁的中国少年虽血气方刚，情感激荡，但毕竟学业初成，还显稚嫩，两篇文章的字里行间都有些用语不妥与辞不达意的现象，但能在十分有限的时间中写成这样的文章，已属不易，作为年长者，又何必苛求呢?

友谊之歌

一次无意中，我从书桌中翻出了一本积满灰尘的相册，在第二排，我找到了你，我的同桌，顿时一首歌回荡在耳边，那首《同桌的你》。

“你是否还会想起，问我借半块橡皮?”记得你是个健忘的人，考试经常不带橡皮，老是问我借，害得一次考试后老师找我谈话，说我和你用橡皮打小抄，可怜的我被老师罚站一节课。幸好你不是那种忘恩负义之人，下课后会递上一块口香糖，使我在苦中找到甜蜜。

“你是否还会想起，猜不出问题的你?”记得你的成绩如此优秀，但你是个不折不扣的地理盲。语文课上生龙活虎的你，在地理课上简直成了一只小鸡，蜷缩了起来，连举手的勇气也没有，可老师偏偏喜欢请你发言。哎，也真是难为了同学们的耳朵了———你说英国和美国是邻国，中国和日本海间隔者印度洋，甚至你说全世界只有两大洲，亚洲和非洲……正因为有了你的“胡言乱语”，平时我最喜欢的课，除了体育课，就是地理课了。

哦，对了。说到体育课，你可真厉害。外表看上去，那么漂亮的女孩子，竟是个体育狂热爱好者，100米短跑8秒1搞定，立定跳远超过了所有的男同学，因此有这么多男同学愿意和你踢球。你和我，便成了球场上的两个箭头，弄得对方守门员时时手忙脚乱。记得吗?上次我们踢了(2)班一个6比0，你还大为不爽呢!

“谁把你的长发盘起……”你有着一头乌黑、漂亮的长发，但你却不去整理，也许这与你的性格有关吧，但你不至于让我这样一个堂堂男子汉为你梳头时，幸好还很早没有人看到，不然，又要到办公室报到了。

毕业典礼那天，你哭了。因为你要远行去日本念书。我们最后一次坐在一起了，毕竟5年了。我也忍不住流下了眼泪。当时气氛真的好奇怪，我强忍着内心的不舍，终于道出了一句缓和气氛的话：“这下你终于知道中国和日本之间是什么海了吧?”你笑了，笑得多么灿烂啊!

同桌，你现在到底怎样了?我好想知道，你的体育成绩仍那么优秀吗?你的地理成绩有所长进吗?我现在真想把《同桌的你》这首歌唱给你听，回味那难忘的小学时光。(虹口区A类卷)

第3篇：上海中考英语作文3

COMPOSITION 1

I Would Like to Be a Polite PersonI am pretty sure that I would like to be a polite person throughout my life. I am brought up in a family whose members are polite to each other. My parents share the same quality with me. I am taught never to be rude to anyone else even if he behaves badly enough. I am aware that a polite person should have an air of tolerance. My mother always says, “Ignore the ill-mannered people because they do not know what they are doing. Be polite to those who deserve your respect.” I also hold many other good manners to be a polite person，such as being friendly and helpful to others, keeping graceful postures all the time, trying to be understanding, talking in a modest way and so on. All in all, my family’s motto, never stop being polite, will stay with me forever. (146) COMPOSITION 2

I Would Like to Be a Soldier

My dream changes all the time. But the other day, I happened to hear an English song named Tell Me Why, which tells something about poor kids whose country is in war. At that moment, I made up my mind that I would like to be a soldier in the future. If I become a soldier, I can fight for people’s freedom. I can help those who suffer a lot in war, especially the innocent kids, who are supposed to sit in class studying, just like the ones living in the peaceful world. I will do whatever I can to realize my dream. (103)

COMPOSITION 3

I Would Like to Be a Singer

The other day, I was on my computer going on You Tube to listen to music. I happened to find out that one song had almost five hundred million views. At that moment, I decided that I would like to be a lead singer in the future.

I think it would be awesome seeing tons of fans wearing a shirt with my face right in the center. How great it is to hear my song played on the radio that billions of people will listen to! What a delightful sense to have my face appear on the cover of a magazine! Then I can afford to tour the world purchasing expensive and nice clothes. Maybe I will be rich enough to buy a cruise ship.someday. (146)

All in all, being a rich and famous lead singer is my dream. I really hope it will come true

COMPOSITION 4

On Helping with Family Chores

Nowadays many students say they are too busy with their study and they do not have time to help their parents with the housework. I do not think it is true which make them appear to be all excuses.In my opinion, doing some housework such as washing our own clothes and making the bed is our own responsibility. We cannot depend on others all our life. Doing housework can make us independent. Thus we can take better care of ourselves when growing up. Besides, sharing the housework is helpful for us to set up good relationship with our parents. What’s more, I am aware that trying to do some housework, among which hard work can be regarded as a kind of physical exercise, can keep us healthy and strong.

On weekdays, I often clean my bedroom every morning and wash dishes after supper. At weekends, washing clothes and mopping the floor is my duty. Also I offer to carry heavy bags from the supermarket.

Just as the saying goes, “One cannot make a big success without being self-reliant.” Therefore, I hold the opinion that it is necessary for students to share the housework. (194)

第4篇：中考上海英语作文总结

上海中考英语作文总结

纵观2001—2010年上海中考英语试卷，书面表达试题的样式大体可以分为两种类型：

一、主观性命题;

二、半主观性命题。字数要求方面从03年开始由原来的50个单词变成60个单词左右。

一、主观性命题

主观性命题是指试题的要求中有简单的写作要求但是没有详细的写作提示，要求考生根据要求自己确定写作中心和内容的书面表达形式。

主观性命题的书面表达特点：1. 试题中有简单的写作要求;2. 没有具体的中文或英文提示，文章的中心内容的确定带有主观性。 比如说上海2007年的中考英语作文题目是：以“爸爸/妈妈的故事”为题写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格。注意：短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。

本试题中只有简单的写作要求：以“爸爸/妈妈的故事”为题，只给出了作文题目，没有相关的内容提示，属于典型的主观类书面表达。做这类题的时候一定要从题目要求出发，通过主观想象写出符合题目要求的内容，对于英语基础薄弱的学生来说，可以先用汉语构思。比如上面的书面表达就可以根据题目要求从以下几个方面构思：

1)写妈妈的故事，确定文章的主人公;

2)妈妈的家庭：有5个兄弟姐妹，爸爸是农村的医生，妈妈只是一个普通的工人;

3)妈妈的童年：由于当时的时代跟现在不同，家里没有电视，没有电脑，妈妈每天下午放学都要跟姐姐弟弟帮他们的妈妈做家务，比如洗衣服，做饭;虽然艰苦，但是很快乐。

用汉语构思完文章大致内容后就把自己的汉语翻译成英语：

1)A Story about My Parent; 2) In mum’s family, there were seven people: mum’s parents, mum’s two brothers and two sisters and mum. When mum was young, her father was a doctor in the small village and her mother was just a worker; 3) At that time, for lack of TV and computer, everyday after school mum along with her brothers and sisters would go home to help their mother with the housework. For example, they helped to make supper or wash clothes. Mum told me that though the life at that time was very hard, she felt happy. 完成翻译工作后用一定的连接词将以上内容连接起来,最终成文：

A Story about My Parent My mum was born in a small village. In her family, there were seven people: mum’s parents, mum’s two brothers and two sisters and mum. When mum was young, her father was a doctor in the small village and her mother was just a worker. At that time, for lack of TV and computer, everyday after school mum along with her brothers and sisters would go home to helped their mother with the housework. For example, they help to make supper or wash clothes. Mum told me that though the life at that time was very hard, she felt happy.

二、半主观性命题

半主观性命题是指试题的要求中有详细的写作要求和写作提示，提示包括中英文两种，而这些写作提示其实就是该书面表达的核心内容即该书面表达的核心得分点。但是这些提示内容往往都比较零散，需要学生加入适当的过渡句或承接词，经过整理后才能成为完整的书面表达形式。

半主观性，命题的书面表达特点：1)文章的内容或者结构有一定的限制，这些是客观规定的;2)学生在组织文章的过程中需要加入一些必要的过渡句或承接词，这些是主观的。 纵观近十年的中考英语真题，上海中考英语作文试题大部分都是半主观性命题，只有01和07年时主观性命题，其他都是半主观性命题。相对于主观性命题而言，半主观性命题会稍显有点难度，因为文章的格式或者内容都是固定的，学生只需将中文转换成英文，再加以必要的过渡词或承接词，倘若学生在审题的时候没注意到这一点的话很有可能会出现跑题的现象。因此做这类题的时候一定要审好题再做题。 比如说上海2002年的中考英语作文题目是：根据英文提示，以“我的心爱之物”为题写作，不少于50个词。内容必须包括英文提示中的3项要求，标点符号不占格：

Make sure you 1. Introduce what the thing(s) is (are). 2. Say when and / or where, and how you got it (them) 3. Explain why you like it (them) and why it is (they are) special to you. 这是一道典型的半主观性命题，此题的要求中对该书面表达的内容已经做了详细的客观规定主要包括：

1. 题目：My Favorite Thing(s) 2. 文章必须包括一下三点：

What the thing(s) is (are) When and / or where, and how you got if (them) Why you like it (them) and why it is (they are) special to you 3. 字数要符合要求

以上这些客观规定的内容即文章的核心得分点，接下来的任务就是要将这些核心得分点写入到文章中并加之必要的过度句或承接词,最终成正文：

My Favorite Thing

I have many small things in my home such as stamps, toys. But among those things, my favorite thing is a green watch. It is a digital watch with a duck on the bottom of it. And it is my birthday present given by my best friend. I got it on my 12th birthday. I like it very much because I can read time since then. Because it was the present given by my best friend, it is very special to me.

在做中考英语作文的时候一定要谨记，文章写完后要检查有没有语法上的错误，注意单三变化，主谓一致。中考作文并不难，只要平时多注意积累，多做练习，相信同学们一定会有所收获。

第5篇：(上海中考)初三英语作文点评

世外初三英语范文点评

优秀习作1上海市世界外国语中学吴思怡

作文题目

“Sow a habit, reap a destiny.” What do you think of habits? What can our habits bring us?Write a passage of at least 60 words on the topic “Habits”.优秀习作

Good habits are foundations on our way to success, while bad ones get in the way and hold us back. To begin with, good habits help us work more efficiently. If we get into the habit of tidying up our rooms, we will find it easy to obtain the things we need. Moreover, good habits leave others positive impressions. Showing our warm smiles is a habit which enables us to get along with our classmates and teachers well. On the other hand, bad habits can be destructive. Lots of people develop lung cancer just because of their habits of smoking. As you can see, habits really make a difference in our lives.

作文评析

本文开门见山陈述观点，说理清晰。能运用举例对比等手法使本文观点更具说服力，如通过整理房间、微笑和吸烟三个习惯的后果正反两方举例，体现出小作者思维的宽度和缜密度。

从语言驾驭能力看，本文句式丰富，语言流畅，既善于活用考纲词组如 “get into the habit of”，又有如“leave others positive impressions”等地道的表达，既有较复杂的主从复合句，又有短小有力的简单句，错落有致，一气呵成。

朱萍

作文题目

Your class would like to make time boxes for people in 2040. You start collecting things today and put them in the boxes. The people in 2040 will be able to compare their life with life now. You also need to write a letter to the people in 2040 introducing one thing in the box. 【Oxford 9B Unit 2 Writing】

优秀习作

To the people of 2040,

In the box you can find an energy-saving lightbulb. They all come from 2014. By holding the little bulb in your hand, you can sense its smooth, transparent glass-made shell, which is of oval shape. Inside the shell, some metal-made wires tangle with each other in a regular order. This is used to enable electricity to pass through the whole bulb to provide energy. Attach the bulb to a base and then turn on the switch, you’ll find the little bulb lighting up the dark room. Another characteristic of it is that it saves more energy than other kinds of bulbs. So this lightbulb is “green”.

We hope this will give you some information about life in 2014.

Yours faithfully, Angel

作文评析

此篇作文题来自牛津9B第二单元课后Writing练习，它的内容是向未来2040年的人们写一封信，介绍一件我们这个时代所用的物品。作文题材是学生平时不常操练的说明文。

本文作者选取了节能灯泡作为对象。在描述过程中，她首先对灯泡的外形进行了细致的描写，从光滑、椭圆型的玻璃外壳，到内部互相缠绕在一起的金属丝。继而写到当电流通过，灯泡会照亮房屋的功能。最后还不忘介绍此种灯泡的特殊之处在于比起其它灯泡，它“节能环保”的特点。

全文脉络清晰，描写细腻、形象、生动，句式丰富，语言流畅，衔接自然，结构紧凑。充分体现了作者的语言表达能力，是一篇很好的说明文范例。

包琪瑞

作文题目

Write a passage of at least 60 words on the topic “The thing that made me angry”.

( 以“让我生气的事”为题写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格。) Use the following points as a guide:

What made you angry?

Describe the thing that made you angry in detail.

How did you deal with the situation?

(注意：短文中不得出现考生的姓名、班级及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。) 优秀习作

There are few things in life more annoying than being laughed at. When I failed to solve the question on the blackboard and just stood in front of it without saying a word, I could hear those annoying whispers. This really made a perfectionist like me get angry. But I couldn’t let the anger get me out of control. Instead, I chose to ignore those ironic words and focus on the question. In addition, I decided to work harder after school to get myself improved. Due to all the changes I made, I believe I can avoid being laughed at in the future.

作文评析

全文结构清晰，层次分明，衔接流畅。本文从内容来看观点新颖、构思巧妙，以”being laughed at”被动语态的结构体现作者内心的不情愿，紧扣题目中的angry。作者侧重对于第二个问题的回答，以生动、细腻的文笔描写了站在黑板前的心理活动，让人读来有生临其境之感。而在结尾，作者不忘传播一丝正能量，驱赶了这个作文题可能带来的负面情绪。本文的内涵和语言都反映出作者的语言驾驭能力，以开头”There are few things … more … than …”来看，作者有丰富的语言积淀和极强的语言运用能力，因而全篇行文流畅，句式丰富，用词精准。本文值得初三学生学习借鉴。

李婧

作文题目

Write a passage of at least 60 words on the topic “I like reading ________ (detective stories, newspaper, magazines, comic strips, etc.) best.”

Use the following points as a guide:

What do you like reading best?

Why do you like reading them best?

How do they influence your life?

(注意：短文中不得出现考生的姓名、班级及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。) 优秀习作

Magazines, as one form of ways to wisdom, are my favorite. Magazines combine the advantages of all forms of books. They have the diversity of information and at the same time, hold deep thoughts. There is rarely a thing that you can’t find in magazines. Reading magazines has provided me with the opportunity to broaden my horizon, gain knowledge and meanwhile, relax. Since they are more portable than others, you can roll them up and take them with you. In brief, reading magazines has brought laughter and knowledge to my life. I like reading magazines best.

作文评析

该篇文章开宗明义，点名文章意图。从内容上看，从杂志包罗万象，开拓读者视野;到杂志放松读者心情;再谈到杂志携带方便可以随时取阅等优点，清晰详实地表达出了作者的观点。文章结尾再次点题，全文简短却简练，切题又精炼。从语言而言，作者具有较强的语言功底，能够熟练运用多样的句式和词组，如meanwhile, since, in brief, provide with等，使文章更富有变化和可读性。语句之间衔接通畅，用词准确自然。词汇量丰富，如wisdom, diversity, opportunity, laughter等。如果文章能在三点优点前用明显的词汇加以区分，如first, furthermore, what’s more等，能使其更加一目了然。

贲方

作文题目

Someone says, “Sow an action, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a destiny.” What’s your opinion on this? Please write an article of 60-80 words on the topic “Habits”.

有人说：“播种行为，收获习惯;播种习惯，收获命运。”对这种说法你怎么看?请以“习惯”为题写一篇60-80字的作文，谈谈你的观点。

优秀习作

Habits

No one can deny that habits play an important role in our life. Everyone should have good habits and break their bad habits as well. In my opinion, habits can change your living style or standard. For instance, if you are an efficient person, you certainly won’t stay up late. This is a good habit that leads to a healthy life. Obviously, little habits undoubtedly change our life and even our destiny.

作文评析

本文语言简练流畅，表达自然。句型句式较多样灵活。

本文开门见山地给出观点: 习惯在我们日常生活中占据着非常重要的位置。我们应该养成好习惯改掉坏习惯。之后给出习惯何以重要的理由，并且以举例子的形式来辅助强调好习惯养成的重要性。最后一句总结首尾呼应，再次点题，全文虽短，却流畅通顺，一气呵成。

何怡文

作文题目

John’s friend, Dick, has mixed feelings before studying abroad. He is worried that his English is not good enough and he is too shy to talk with strangers. Also he doesn’t want to leave his friends. Write him an email in at least 60 words to give him some suggestions.

优秀习作

Thank you for telling me your problem. Firstly, you should be more outgoing and confident. Learning a foreign language requires you to speak a lot to others. Since you’ll study abroad soon, it’ll be a great opportunity to improve your English. Remember not to be shy. Maybe you can watch some American TV series. That might help you know how people communicate in their daily life. Then you’ll find the confidence in communicating with strangers. Secondly, if you miss your friends here, you can call them and email them as well. The Internet makes it easy to communicate with people in different countries. Thirdly, you should try to be a brave boy. Life is always filled with ups and downs, but you should face all the obstacles bravely. No cross, no crown. I wish you no longer worry about your life there after reading my letter.

作文评析

这是一篇有篇幅限制和内容要求的考试作文。它很好地做到了结构整齐，条理清晰的要求。开头直入主题。主体部分以“firstly，secondly，thirdly”这些词汇清晰地亮出三点建议，并且使前后连贯。每一点建议都因为有总起句的概括，以及进一步阐述说明的支撑，而显得层次分明，内容充实而有说服力。语言方面，行文简凝流畅，词汇恰当丰富，句型准确多变，虽然未见很多课外词汇或有难度句型，但是小作者很好地做到了活学活用，这是我们应该推崇的学习意识和习惯。从文章结尾处的句子“Life is always filled with ups and downs, but you should face all the obstacles bravely. No cross, no crown.”，可以看出小作者平时注重了阅读和积累。

张樱

第6篇：2012上海初三中考英语作文

2012上海初三中考英语作文范文(5)Write a passage at least 60 words on the topic “When I met a

difficulty„”(以“当我遇到困难时„„”为题，写一篇不少于60个词的短文)

Use the following points as a guide (短文须包含下列要点) What difficulty did you meet with?

How did you solve the problem?

How did you feel after you solved it?

What do you think of you way?

When I met difficulty studying English

A famous saying goes “What ever difficulties you meet with, never give up half way”.

I remember I had difficulty improving my English when I entered junior high school. Though I tried my best to recite the passages and spell new expressions,it was still difficult for me to communicate with the native speakers and understand some long sentences in newspaper articles. With the tips from my English teacher, I was determined to listen to the English programmes over the radio every day and follow it to practice my spoken English. Meanwhile, I picked up some key words to guess the meanings in the context and looked up them in the dictionary later. “Practice makes perfect”. All these practice helps to improve English in a short time. When I found my English was not what it used to be, I felt very excited. Now I think if a good way is matered, it will not difficult for anyone to improve English.

2012上海初三中考英语作文范文(6)Describe how you did something successfully. The title of the story is “A Success Story of My Own”.

I was not very good at sports. Last summer some friends of mine went to swim one afternoon. I went with them and saw what fun it was to jump into the water in the hot sun. Then I made up my mind to learn how to swim. Jimmy gave me some advice. She said, “Why not join the

morning training course in the swimming pool? But you have to get up a bit earlier. It begins at 6:30. They have very good coaches there.” I was glad to take her advice, though I used to stay in bed in the morning. I was sure nothing could stop me. I went to the training course the very next day. Learning to swim was no easy job for me. It took me quite some time to pick up

enough courage to jump into water for the first day. I worked very hard, overcoming difficulties one after another. My coach was kind and patient. When I had learned the movements of the feet and hands and how to move them in harmony, I began to learn how to breathe in water. It proved the hardest thing in the world. The coach showed me many times, but every time I tried I swallowed water instead of fresh air. I didn’t give up, keeping trying until suddenly I found I could. I succeeded!

2012上海初三中考英语作文范文(7)

Use the following points as a guide

My Wish

What is you wish? (what do you want to be in the future? What do you want to have one day?)

Why is it you wish?

What will you do to make your wish come true?

My wish is to be teacher when I grow up because both my parents are teachers. My father teaches Chinese and my mother is teacher of English. So I am growing up on the school campus. I almost know every teacher in the school. They all like me and some of them say I should do something else when I grow up. However, I still want to be a teacher like my parents and have students all over the country because I like children. Of course I must study hard and do well in all the subjects. Thus I can enter a normal university after I finish my middle school.

第7篇：中考英语作文范文去上海旅游

I took a trip to Shanghai with my mother during the seven-day holiday. It took us more than two hours to drive to Shanghai from my home in Haimen. We stayed in a large hotel on the eighth floor. On the first day, I just stayed in the hotel and rested. On the second day, my brother and I went to Nanjing Road. It’s the busiest street in Shanghai. When we got there, there were lots of people. We walked from one shop to another. I bought two T-shirts and two pairs of trousers for the coming summer. The T-shirts and trousers I bought are all white because white is my favourite colour. My brother also bought some clothes. On the third day, my mother took me to Jinjiang Entertainment Centre. It was full of people. I played many kinds of games there. I had a good time. The other days, I went to some other interesting places, such as the Oriental Bright Pearl TV Tower, the Huangpu River and Shanghai International Conference Centre. I didn’t forget to do my homework in the evening. I had a full and happy holiday.

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